It's a catch 22 of a slippery slope into darkness.

Am I being dramatic, maybe. Do I exaggerate, definitely. Is it a serious problem, for sure!

I love to run. I love the way it makes me feel like I've done something productive. I love the way my life goes when I'm running consistently. I love the challenge of running. Basically, nothing bad can come from running. And when I'm in a good routine, I actually enjoy getting up early and going. It's peaceful, it's productive, it's pretty awesome. Like LDH says, running saves lives - or at least mine. Except when it doesn't.

Here's how my running slump usually goes:

Some traumatic or intense life event happens and I grant myself "permission" to slack off. I sleep in, I eat crap, I mope. This leads me to think of running as a chore. And the longer I put off the running, the guiltier I feel about it. As I continue to not run, my mood declines, other life events happen, and running becomes a distant memory. Bad mood begets no running, no running begets bad mood; lather rinse repeat. And thus it goes.

Until one day, when I remind myself that running, while it now seems like something loathesome and horrific, will actually solve all my problems. Running will make me feel productive and accomplished. It will make me feel awake and happy. It will make me feel peaceful and relaxed. And I do, have to coach myself through this. Until it sinks in. And then, I'm back!

The end of May was rough for me, running wise. The Ragnar Relay that some friends and I had been planning for the better portion of a year had come and gone. LDH up and deserted me. And, the first post-ragnar sans LDH run I went on was terribly sad and miserable. I went runless for the better part of three weeks, until Wednesday, when I finally dragged myself to a treadmill (blech, I hate treadmills). And, ohhhhboy, was it TERRIBLE. Not the thing I needed to pull me out of the current running funk. I'll try again, outside, in the early morning on Sunday. I'll return to Town Lake. And all will be right in the world.

Route: 2.4 miles on a treadmill.

Time: if I told you, you'd cry for me.

Lessons learned: treadmill running does not do the same as outdoor running to help you overcome downward spiral of doom.