Slacker

I have been slacking on both the running and the blogging fronts. Starting school is kicking my butt! Tomorrow I the Terry Fox run across the Confederation Bridge (more about this in my next post), and I feel very unprepared. Most of the runs I have been doing over the past month have been around 3-4 miles. I only managed to squeeze in one 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago. This makes me nervous. I am also really excited because I miss running long distances.

Most of my runs lately have been rather enjoyable. My most enjoyable recent run was my first run in Sackville after returning from Vancouver. It was a near-perfect running day in my opinion. Of course, for me a perfect running day involves rain, so it may not be everyone's idea of perfect. This particular day was delightfully cool, but not too cold to have to wear gloves or anything, and there were dark ominous clouds hanging over my town, but with bursts of sunshine visible in the distance. The sky just looked amazing. And the route I run, down main street is on a hill above the surrounding farmland and swamp (err...marshland). The view was amazing and the mixture of dark clouds with pockets of blue sky just looked so damn cool. I was also listening to new running music because I was DAMN SICK of my old mix of 200 songs that I have been listening to since last November.  I was listening to songs from a mix CD that my BFF made me, songs I would normally not think to run to, and it was delightful. This inspired me to make a while new running playlist for my iPod, which will be tested officially in tomorrow's run.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Number of stars: 5!
Lessons learned: Musical selections should be rotated more than once per year!
Song that rocked my run: Jolene by Dolly Parton
Song that made me dance while running: Say Hey by Michael Franti & Spearhead

How can you not dance to this song?!?

Keeping on schedule

I have been surprising myself by actually sticking to the schedule as set out by Austin Fit. I did a few short 25 minute runs on the weekdays and then did the scheduled 5 miles on Saturday. I took a new route on Saturday, down one of the trails in my neighbourhood (can I spell like a Canadian here?). At first I was a little nervous because the beginning of the trail was really narrow and surrounded on both sides by trees. I almost turned back, but I kept on trucking and within a couple of minutes, it opened up to a wider trail with farms on both sides. I definitely felt safer, that was until I came within 2 feet of a cow. She was standing right at the edge of the trail. Behind a fence, but RIGHT THERE! I say that I love cows, and I collect pictures and figurines of them, but whenever I have been anywhere near a real cow I am terrified! This cow was HUGE. As were all of its nearby friends. Added to the cow terror was the fact that I was running head on into the strongest wind I have ever experienced on a run. I felt like I was in a wind tunnel. I think that added at least a half a mile to my journey since the wind kept pushing me back. It was hard, too!

While running, I was contemplating about the fact that most of my runs lately have felt un-good. I just can't seem to get into the groove where I forget about time and just wanna keep running. Or at least to a point where I am not looking at my watch every 45 seconds. I miss that. I want that. What I really need is Jenni to tell me stories while I run. That always makes my runs go nicely. Maybe in addition to the blog, Jenni needs to do a podcast that I can listen to while I run. Or maybe I should just find a really interesting podcast to listen to while I run. Hmmm. Will have to look into that.

It's a catch 22 of a slippery slope into darkness.

Am I being dramatic, maybe. Do I exaggerate, definitely. Is it a serious problem, for sure!

I love to run. I love the way it makes me feel like I've done something productive. I love the way my life goes when I'm running consistently. I love the challenge of running. Basically, nothing bad can come from running. And when I'm in a good routine, I actually enjoy getting up early and going. It's peaceful, it's productive, it's pretty awesome. Like LDH says, running saves lives - or at least mine. Except when it doesn't.

Here's how my running slump usually goes:

Some traumatic or intense life event happens and I grant myself "permission" to slack off. I sleep in, I eat crap, I mope. This leads me to think of running as a chore. And the longer I put off the running, the guiltier I feel about it. As I continue to not run, my mood declines, other life events happen, and running becomes a distant memory. Bad mood begets no running, no running begets bad mood; lather rinse repeat. And thus it goes.

Until one day, when I remind myself that running, while it now seems like something loathesome and horrific, will actually solve all my problems. Running will make me feel productive and accomplished. It will make me feel awake and happy. It will make me feel peaceful and relaxed. And I do, have to coach myself through this. Until it sinks in. And then, I'm back!

The end of May was rough for me, running wise. The Ragnar Relay that some friends and I had been planning for the better portion of a year had come and gone. LDH up and deserted me. And, the first post-ragnar sans LDH run I went on was terribly sad and miserable. I went runless for the better part of three weeks, until Wednesday, when I finally dragged myself to a treadmill (blech, I hate treadmills). And, ohhhhboy, was it TERRIBLE. Not the thing I needed to pull me out of the current running funk. I'll try again, outside, in the early morning on Sunday. I'll return to Town Lake. And all will be right in the world.

Route: 2.4 miles on a treadmill.

Time: if I told you, you'd cry for me.

Lessons learned: treadmill running does not do the same as outdoor running to help you overcome downward spiral of doom.