i am the winner

Yesterday morning I got up at 5:15 am and got ready for boot camp, day2. I was tired. I had come home and gone to bed at about 1am, which was FAR too late for me, but with all my friends deciding to up and move out of the city, there is a lot of hanging out to be done. But, I was up and getting dressed - and off to meet the group at Auditorium Shores.

I want to back up a second and just recap my "running" for the internet. I'm not "a runner", or at least I don't feel like one. I'm not fast. I have to work hard to pull out an 11 minute mile. There I said it. I walk every 5 or 6 minutes. EVERY five or six minutes. And I long for those walk breaks. And sometimes I walk sooner (and longer). So, the image of "runners" in little shorts just cruising around all over creation - that's not me. I love to run, but that doesn't make me "good". I have, somehow, built up some distance endurance. So I'm no longer scared that I can't make the distance of a half marathon. And, I've overcome the soreness that lasted for TWO DAYS after my first half marathon. I can now return to normal the next day, or later that night. So, I'm definitely not the beginner I was. But when I hear people say things to me like, "it'll be easy for you, you're a runner" - I feel like I've tricked everyone. It's not easy for me.

Boot camp starts with a warm-up run. We were meeting at the South First Street water coolers, and our warm-up run was to head west on the trail to riverside, east on riverside back to the entrance to the First Street parking lot, and back to the coolers. A short little almost a mile loop. There are 9 of us in that group, and at least 3 of us all took off right at the same time, the other 6 not far behind at all. In the first minute of this run, I was ahead of the pack. I wasn't busting out a fast pace, although I have a horrible time pacing myself. As the run went on, instead of people catching up to me and passing me, my distance in front grew. When I returned to the water coolers the coach said to me, with a smile, "you're the winner" - and then she went back to discussing with the other coach some plans for the day.

It was when she said that that I realized the sad truth. I'd never won. I'd never even been first to finish a run, in any group, with anyone. Heck, all through Ragnar I'm not even sure I ever PASSED anyone - and we all know I was passed at least 10 times in one leg. So, as insignificant as it seems, finishing first out of a group of 9 during a 1-mile warm up run...

I was the winner.